Inspirational Song of the Week 10.7.2014

Ok, clearly I'm not doing so great on the weekly post/inspirational song. I'm going to do better, promise.

This song isn't so much of a song for me as for someone else. --Wow -- it's funny how you can hear something that you know is meant for you, and then hear something else that you know is mean for someone else.

Pieces by Meredith Andrews

"Pieces"

[Verse 1:]
It's a complex puzzle you call your life
It's an uphill climb, it's a constant fight
And it wears you down
Feeling like you're alone, like you don't belong
And you won't be loved if you don't measure up
And you wear your scars
Like they're who you are

[Chorus:]
Give Him your wounds, your bruised and broken pieces
All your questions, all your secrets
You don't have to hide who you are
You belong to someone greater
Than all your past mistakes and failures
Rested who He is
He knows how to make your pieces fit

[Verse 2:]
He's the light on the road when you're lost in the dark
And He won't run away if you show your heart
Wants you to believe it
You can taste that freedom

[Chorus:]
When you give Him your wounds, your bruised and broken pieces
All your questions, all your secrets
You don't have to hide who you are
You belong to someone greater
Than all your past mistakes and failures
Rested who He is
He knows how to make your pieces fit

[Bridge:]
You are completely known
You are completely loved
This is where you belong

[Chorus:]
Give Him your wounds, your bruised and broken pieces
All your questions, all your secrets
You don't have to hide who you are
You belong to someone greater
Than all your past mistakes and failures
Rested who He is
He knows how to make your pieces fit

How many times in my life have I felt like I didn't belong .... hmm .... just about all of it.  I think one of the most powerful realizations of my new life is that I'm not wrong, or strange, or broken. I'm just how God made me, and He loves me just as I am, even if other's don't.  

Today, I love my life

That's a powerful statement.  I feel like I was living in hell for the last two years, and living in darkness all of the years before that. I have battled crippling depression and anxiety, a bad marriage, career difficulties. My life was hopeless and helpless for a lot of years.

Last September, in the darkest time of my life I turned to the Lord. I held onto him fast while everything fell out from under me. I know for a fact his strength is the only thing that got me through.

He has blessed me 100 times over in this last year.

Financially I was on my own with 4 people living in my house, the Lord blessed me many times with additional funds.  Looking back over the extra money that I had to spend on lawyer fees, a new air conditioner, car repairs .... I can honestly tell you I don't know where the money came from other than the Lord provided for me.

Emotionally I was an island for many years. I didn't want anyone to see or know what was happening inside my home so I kept to myself.  Minimal family contact, almost zero social/friend contact.  I went to work, I came home, I trudged through surviving each day.  The Lord knew I needed support, I needed closeness. He brought my family around me, God bless my family they have been amazing. My relationships with them are so much stronger. I am so thankful that I have them and that I know them as an adult.  The Lord also brought me invaluable friendships.  Strong Christian women to help guide me. These women have been the voice of reason and logic in a crazy time in my life.  They've helped keep me grounded, true and honest. And now in the aftermath they continue to help me grow.

Spiritually I was totally lost.  I knew for years that I needed something.  I needed hope. I kept getting drawn to church but I never really felt like I belonged, like I fit. The Lord lead me to my church. It is just the right fit for me. I have hope in my life, and that is not something to be taken lightly. It gives me spiritual guidance. It gives me knowledge and understanding of God's word and God's promises.

So for today, I love my life.  Today is all that we really have and today is what I will hold on to.

Bless you and this day.

The Danger of "What If"

I'm at an interesting cross-road in my life.  Through the grace of God I have ended one chapter of my life, one that He sent me big HUGE flashing warning signs about I might add.  And I'm starting on a new chapter. This time I'm determined to LISTEN to him and not insist that I know how to do it better ... because clearly if I did I wouldn't have messed it up so badly so far.

So here I am, starting down a new path but I can't help but think, "What if". Every decision I made in my life up to this point I can attach a "What if" to and wonder if my life would have turned out different/"better". Remember those books where you get to a point in the story and and you have a choice of what happens next? I can remember reading those one way and then when I finished the story go back and read it again and make different choices and see how the story ended up differently.  To bad we don't have the power in life.

This weekend I've had readings, scripture, sermons, and decade old history collide on me.  It's been emotional to say the least.

Here is the story. About 12 years ago I met this nice guy. We went on a few dates, I liked him but was tangled up in a crap-tastic, manipulative, unhealthy relationship.  Since I liked and cared for this guy I told him where I was and that I couldn't date him (it took me several more years to shake loose of the manipulator).  We ended up being good friends.  He never made any sort of advances on me, we were just friends. I think deep down I knew he still liked me, but he seemed like he was cool with the friend thing. He died 10 years ago this summer in an tragic accident.  His best friend,and roommate, and I became close friends. When I moved back home after college and was ready to get my own apartment I moved in with that friend. We always had a strictly platonic relationship.  It would be fair to say I consider him a brother. One of those people that I would call if I needed bail money you know.

Obviously a lot has happened in 10 years.  We moved out on our own, we both got married, we both had kids, and now we have both gotten divorced.  We were hanging out this weekend celebrating my new-found freedom, catching up and reminiscing.  We probably haven't hung out in 2-3 years, but he is one of those friends where it doesn't seem like we missed a single day, we just know each other.

During the reminiscing the question sort of came up, how come nothing had ever happened between us? I mean we lived together, we were in our 20's, there were plenty of drunken nights, several brutal break-ups followed by periods of vulnerability, perfect storm right .... neither one of us ever went there.

Then he said something that had never occurred to me ..... he thinks it was because he knew how our deceased friend had felt about me .... what ????? We were just friends.  We never did anything more than go out a couple of times, nothing physical ever happened between us. I was totally baffled. He went on to tell me things that our friend had done or said that said to him how much he cared ... he knew I was hopelessly messed up over the manipulator, but he was willing to wait for me to figure it out.

MIND BLOWN!!!!

I don't even know how to process this.

My mind goes into over-drive ... what if?

What if I had known how he felt and chosen to be with him? Would that tragic accident that took him too  young not have happened?

What if  he was the person I was supposed to be with and I blew it because I was young and stupid and too damaged to care for someone that wasn't a user and manipulator?

What if I had chosen him, would I be happy now, not alone, not starting over?

WHAT IF?????

I can tell you that I've cried a bucket of tears over this revelation and series of questions this weekend.

As I am still struggling with this question a sermon that I heard last week pops into my head "Trust God's process" and another snippet from another sermon "Nothing is a surprise to God.  He never says, "Wow, I didn't see that coming"

Then a book I'm reading right now, Dangerous Surrender by Kay Warren, "I've found that discovering God's will often resembles looking at an undeveloped Polaroid photograph. When the camera spits out the picture, the images are gray and shapeless, but the longer you look at the picture, the clearer it becomes."

My verse of the day today 1Peter 5:6 "So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time he will lift you up in honor."

God has a plan and a process for each of us.  We don't know what it is, He doesn't give us an outline and He doesn't let us skip to the end either, we have to live it out.  We have to trust Him.  We have to give ourselves and our lives to Him in order to be able to see the picture he's trying to show us.

My head and my heart know this, but there is this slight whisper of doubt. It's time for me to move forward and I'm scared.  Not sure if I trust myself. I guess that's the key, it's Him I need to trust.  He's the one that knows how this is all going to turn out.  He is the one that knows my purpose.

Because it is all part of God's plan there are no "What ifs", there is only "What now".

I'm challenging myself to back away from the "what ifs"and ask "what next Lord".

"Is she an athlete?"

Probably the coolest thing that's ever been said to me.  Two weeks ago I had an emergency appendectomy. I'll spare the details, but it wasn't fun.

After the surgery I briefly remember, in my drugged state, that my heart monitor kept going of.  The threshold resting heart rate was 50 beats per minute, mine kept dipping to 47.  The nurse came in to check on me and asked my mom "is she an athlete? I wish I could get my resting heart rate to 47."

How cool is that.  I remember wearing a heart monitor when I was in college, granted I was a smoker then, but I was in late teens, my resting heart rate was between 80 and 88.  Pretty cool that it is now 50 or below.
Of course the surgery has put me behind in my exercise routine.  I'm just now able to start running again, but I'm no where near where I was.  I'm not exactly starting over, but certainly pretty far from where I was. This weekend I am doing a 1 mile fun run with my son.  He's 3 so it will most likely be a fun run/walk/piggy back ride.

I started C25K over ... again.  Before my surgery I was setting the treadmill on 6 for the running portion, but that is giving me a serious stitch in my side.  I think I might have to drop my speed for a few weeks. No one likes to go backwards, but I refuse to give us.  Two steps back is better than 100 right.

Since my running is going to take some time to build up I'm doing the 30 day squat challenge ..... today was Day 1.

30 Squats
159 pounds
and starting tomorrow I will take my measurements in the morning.

Let's see where I land in 30 days.

Inspirational song of the week 8.3.14

Let it Be Jesus
by: Passion


I heard this song for the first time in church yesterday and I knew it was my song for this week. It resonated in two ways with me.

1) God I breathe Your name above everything. Let it be, Let it be Jesus

I've struggled with depression and anxiety for my entire adult life.  Through the grace of God I have found the only coping mechanism that has ever worked .... Jesus.  When I was letting my dark thoughts take over a friend told me "His name is above all others, just say His name over and over and it will push the enemy out." So that is what I do. When my anxiety ramps up I close my eyes and bow my head and say "Jesus" over and over and over until my heart slows down and my breathing comes back to normal and my head calms down.  When the dark and negative thoughts enter my head I do the same thing and I feel uplifted, I see the hope and peace that is in my life because of Jesus Christ. The enemy has no power over my mind when I have Jesus there.

2) Should I ever be surrounded by the fire and the flame There's a name I will remember. There's a name I will proclaim. Let it be, Let it be Jesus

Over the last year I've found myself surrounded by that fire and flame several times.  I've hit my knees in a moment of desperation more than once. I can honestly say that EVERYTIME God has answered my prayers. He has given me the strength and the courage to overcome and see it through to the end.

The lyrics

Let it be Jesus
The first name that I call
Let it be Jesus
My song inside the storm
I'll never need another

For me, to live is Christ
For me, to live is Christ
God I breathe Your name above everything
Let it be, Let it be Jesus

Let it be Jesus
From the rising of the sun
Let it be Jesus
When all is said and done
I'll never need another, Jesus there's no other

For me, to live is Christ
For me, to live is Christ
God I breathe Your name above everything
Let it be, Let it be Jesus

Should I ever be abandoned
Should I ever be acclaimed
Should I ever be surrounded by the fire and the flame There's a name I will remember
There's a name I will proclaim
Let it be, Let it be Jesus

For me, to live is Christ
For me, to live is Christ
God I breathe Your name above everything
Let it be, Let it be Jesus

Read more: Passion - Let It Be Jesus Lyrics | MetroLyrics 

A Glimmer of Hope

Have you ever been sitting in church listening to the message and thought "Wow, Pastor is talking directly to me.  This message was written for me." I felt that on Sunday. The message was about the last part of James, but at one point he referenced 1King Chapter 18.

42 So Ahab went off to eat and drink, but Elijah climbed to the top of Carmel, bent down to the ground and put his face between his knees. 43 "Go and look toward the sea," he told his servant. And he went up and looked. "There is nothing there," he said. Seven times Elijah said, "Go back." 44 The seventh time the servant reported, "A cloud as small as a man's hand is rising from the sea." So Elijah said, "Go and tell Ahab, 'Hitch up your chariot and go down before the rain stops you.' " 45 Meanwhile, the sky grew black with clouds, the wind rose, a heavy rain came on and Ahab rode off to Jezreel. 46 The power of the LORD came upon Elijah and, tucking his cloak into his belt, he ran ahead of Ahab all the way to Jezreel.

The point of the story is keep praying.  Keep believing.  Keep on no matter what. It may not happen the first time, the fifth time, the 10th time, but be faithful, believe and God will answer your prayers.  It may not be how you thought, but He will answer.

"Go Back", "Hold On" as Pastor said on Sunday.  I've been praying for 9 months for relief and resolution and today I got my tiny rain cloud. It started as a tiny wisp and as the day went on it has grown and grown.  It's starting to sprinkle now.  I can't wait to see what God is going to do next in my life. I can't wait to tuck my cloak into my belt and run past the chariot.

Reached My Goal .... Now What?

I reached my weight loss goal, officially 165 pounds. It seemed a little anti-climatic though, I feel like my scale should have shot off fireworks and an angel choir should have descended from heaven to sing to me in my bathroom.

I'm a little disappointed  because I've lost a total of 43 pounds.  I've reached my weight loss goal. I've run a 5K. I'm not really sure where to go from here.

Several people have said, "Just focus on maintaining now." Well that sounds boring, who wants to stay the same? Aren't we all trying to do something, accomplish something, get somewhere? I don't want to say "hey guess what, nothing has changed in my life what so ever, isn't that awesome!"

Plus, I'm not so sure I'm happy with where I am.  I set my goal at 165 because it seemed really far away, and I thought it was a weight that I could easily maintain.  But the truth is, I don't look like I thought I would at 165. There is still a pretty thick layer of fat that's still hanging out and jiggling all over the place.

I find myself excited and disheartened; proud of myself and a little disappointed and not really sure where to go from here.  What's next?

Earlier this week I stumbled across this woman on Facebook Neon Runner. What an inspiration. Here is a person that reached her goal and kept going, blew past her goal and never looked back.

So I guess it is time for me to keep going. Turns out I am capable of more than I thought I was, all in God's grace.

My new goals (because I'm a person that needs measurable goals to track and work towards):
1) 160 pounds. That will officially give me a healthy BMI.
2) Size 8. I never thought it was possible, in fact I got rid of all of the size 8 clothes not too long ago, but I'm a 10 now, I know I can get there.
3) I want to be able to wear a bikini next summer, which means I need to be tone and muscular.
4) I want to run a 5k race (not on a treadmill) without stopping to walk.

What is my plan for getting there? Basically keep doing what I've been doing. Not let myself slide back into my previous life style. I'm going to start the C25K program over.  This time I'm going to increase my running pace, and since I still do my workouts during the week on a treadmill I'm going to put it on the random setting so that there is an incline. Those together should increase my endurance and hopefully I will be able to run an entire 5K in 2 months.

So here goes.  I'm going to keep tracking my progress and this will keep me accountable.

Inspirational song of the week 7.6.14

"Compass" by Lady Antebellum

I love this song.  From the first time I heard it on the radio it spoke to me. I don't know what they were thinking of when they wrote it, and maybe it wasn't intended to be a spiritual song, but, music is what the listener makes of it right.

I pull so much inspiration out of this song when I am feeling down.  It starts out saying "Yeah it's been a bumpy road" you've got that right sister.

Then it goes on to say "You wanna give up 'cause it's dark. We're really not that far apart." Don't give up.  Even when things are hard and it seems you are at the end and there is no way out, God it not far, he is always near, he is always just a step away. Even though it may seem you are an eternity from Him, you aren't that far apart.

And the last line of the chorus "'Cause no matter what you'll never be alone (never be alone) oh oh oh. Never be alone oh oh oh" You are never alone.  No matter how alone you feel, you aren't alone.  God is there, always with you, no matter what.  

Recently I have found myself in that place where the dark thoughts start to invade your head and you are hearing things like "you are completely alone. No one wants you, no one will ever want you. You are alone and will always be alone." Those are dark, dangerous thoughts, not a road you want to go down. I've been able to stop myself and say "you may be lonely, but you are never alone." There is power in the knowledge that you aren't alone.

Here are the lyrics and the video.  Come back to it when you are sad or scared or lonely and know that God is when you, God is close, you are never alone.

"Compass"

Alright
Yeah it's been a bumpy road
Roller coasters
High and low
Fill the tank and drive the car
Pedal fast, pedal hard
You won't have to go that far

You wanna give up 'cause it's dark
We're really not that far apart
So let your heart, sweet heart
Be your compass when you're lost
And you should follow it wherever it may go
When it's all said and done
You can walk instead of run
'Cause no matter what you'll never be alone (never be alone) oh oh oh
Never be alone oh oh oh

Forgot directions on your way
Don't close your eyes don't be afraid
We might be crazy late at night I can't wait til you arrive
Follow stars you'll be alright

You wanna give up 'cause it's dark
We're really not that far apart
So let your heart, sweet heart
Be your compass when you're lost
And you should follow it wherever it may go
When it's all said and done
You can walk instead of run
'Cause no matter what you'll never be alone (never be alone) oh oh oh
Never be alone oh oh oh
You wanna give up 'cause it's dark
We're really not that far apart
So let your heart, sweet heart
Be your compass when you're lost
And you should follow it wherever it may go
When it's all said and done
You can walk instead of run
'Cause no matter what you'll never be alone (never be alone) oh oh oh
Never be alone oh oh oh

When it's all said and done
You can walk instead of run
'Cause no matter what you'll never be alone

Patience - Part 1

I feel like this is going to be a multiple part series, so here you go, Part 1.

 Have you ever said "When God was handing out _______ I was in the bathroom"? My blank is PATIENCE.

With everything that has happened in my life over the last year I'm pretty sure God stood in Heaven looking down on me, hands on hips and shaking his head saying "Girl, you have got to calm down, relax, and have some PATIENCE!" God has a lot of work to do in me on this one.

Nothing requires patience quite like parenthood does. You have to wait for 9 months to even see the little angel.  Then you are waiting for them to smile, roll over, sit up, crawl, walk, talk. Then once they do all of those things they spend the next 15 years trying your patience. Parenting is patience so when you don't have a lot of it, it can be a struggle.

There is nothing worse than seeing your own short comings mirrored in your child. You want to help them, the last thing you want is for them to ever struggle, hurt or be frustrated.  I know that a life of impatience is maddening (and can get you into trouble a good bit). Not to mention how hypocritical is it to say "be patient" to your little one when you aren't capable of it yourself. And to add insult to injury, where do you think he learned the impatience from to start with?

My Little Man is 3, almost 4 (and yes, it's true, 3 is worse than 2). He was really struggling with patience. When he didn't get his way he would throw a HUGE fit, screaming, crying, throwing things.  It would last for a long time.  It got to the point that he was having to go to the office several times a day, EVERY day at daycare.  Nothing hurts your heart more than thinking you have a "bad" kid, seeing a life of detention in your future. I had tried all of the reward/consequence programs I could think of and nothing was working, and of course since I am an impatient perfectionist this bothered me that I couldn't find the right answer.

Here's a surprise, MY way didn't work because I needed to do it GOD's way *facepalm*. I started to pray for him.  I prayed that he would find peace and not get upset. I prayed that God would touch his heart and head so that he would obey with a good heart, "right away, all the way, with a good attitude"as they say at his daycare. Then somewhere along the way my prayers for Little Man turned into prayers for me. I prayed that God would give me the right words to help Little Man.  That he would give ME the patience to be able to help him control his temper. That he would help me so that I could help him.

Pretty quickly I noticed a difference in how I interacted with him. When he was upset I was able to stay calm. I was able to stay relaxed and pretty soon I was able to talk him through calming himself down. "Take a deep breath, calm down, use your words and talk to me." His behavior at home is better.  He is having more and more days when he doesn't go to the office at daycare, and when he does they've told me that he calms down much faster than before. Last week he even got a good note for having such a great week at day care, he was so proud.

I am so thankful that God did the work in me so that I could show Little Man what calm and patience looks like. I'm so grateful that God has enough patience to stick with me until I finally get it. I will continue to pray daily that God will continue to touch our hearts and minds so that we can work though problems without anger and frustration. It is amazing what you can accomplish when you slow down ask God for his help and listen when he answers.

Inspirational Song of the Week 6.28.14

"It is Well With My Soul"

I love this song. It is soft and beautiful and so powerful.

I did a bible study at the beginning of the year on the book of James and the part that resonated with me the most was the part about trials.  We all have them, right now I feel they are constant, but one of the beautiful works God has done in me is to always look for the blessing. Every trial has a purpose, we just don't know what it is yet.  We wouldn't want God to ruin the ending would we?

At the end of the day, no matter the trial, "It Is Well With My Soul". And that is amazing.

What does running have to do with all of this?

Let's just say it ..... Exercise sucks.  Running sucks. Eating healthy sucks.

You know what else sucks ..... being overweight.  Being exhausted. Hating what you see in the mirror every day. Not being able to play with your child because your winded. Feeling repulsive and awful every day.

Yep, that's me in September of 2012, my son's 2nd birthday.

Now that I'm done with the self-loathing, let's move forward.

At my peak I was 208 pounds.  According to the BMI (I hate the BMI by the way) I had slipped from the overweight category into the obese category. How in the world does this happen? I'll tell you.

You start out a little heavier than you were because your getting older and your metabolism slows down. Then you get pregnant and eat your way through the next 9 months. Then, just when you are getting back on track and starting to lose the baby weight you have hip surgery that you spend the next year recovering from. Next thing you know you are 2 sizes up from where you were and feel awful, not to mention that hip issue you had surgery for isn't helped by the extra 40 pounds.

When I started going to church, and when I started believing in Christ, the funniest thing happened .... I started believing in myself.  Finding Christ gave me the strength and hope that I needed to live. For the first time in my life I didn't feel hopeless or helpless anymore, and let me tell you, NOT feeling hopeless and helpless is the first step to getting up off of the couch and doing something about it.

I started slowly by changing how I ate. The more I engrossed myself into the church culture the more fulfilled I felt and the less desire I had to stuff myself with chips, large amounts of pasta, pizza, ice cream, and cookies. I lost a few pounds ... at least my current wardrobe was starting to fit again.

Then I started walking (on the nice flat, air conditioned, no humidity, controlled treadmill that is) but it was sooooo boring (worse than running on the treadmill, at least when you're running you have to pay attention so you don't fall off and go flying across the gym), and so unfulfillin., I mean I just spent 30 minutes walking instead of doing something fun like eating potato chips, having a milk shake, or taking a nap and I only burned 120 calories, geeze! I mean I can burn that many calories walking into Chick-Fil-A and standing in line to get my nuggets, fries, and aforementioned milkshake.

So one day at the end of my 30 minutes on the treadmill I thought, "Hey, I wonder if I can run the last minute". I did and I felt great. After that one minute run I felt better after my workout than I ever had before. I tried it again the next day, same thing, hmmm maybe there is something to this running thing after all.



I decided to give the Couch to 5K program a try. I worked the whole program and to keep me motivated I signed up for a 5K that would be right at the end of the 8 weeks, The Color Run 5/31/2014.  Somewhere along the way I started to like it.

I'm not sure if it's the actual running, ok, it's not the actual running because let's face it, really all that happens there is that it starts to suck less .... what I really liked was that I was able to do something that I never thought I could.

I have since done another 5K and I've made the goal to do one run a month for the next year. I'm going to alternate between 5Ks and 1 mile fun runs since my 4 year old wants to run with me.



I know the Lord is making me stronger every day.  He is helping me build my strength and my character, he is preparing me for something great .... and I can't wait to see what it is. All in His time.

The First Post-How it All Began

This is my first blog post of any kind .... ever. This all started in my head last month while training for my first 5K. Running on a treadmill is mind-numbingly (pretty sure that's not a word) boring. I do prefer it over running outside because it's flat, air conditioned and no humidity, all pluses when you are starting out.

To keep myself from quitting from sheer boredom I came up with this idea for a blog - my journey in finding Christ and my sudden love for running and all of my thoughts and revelations in the process.

To truly understand where a person is you have to understand where they've been, so here goes ... deep breath in and out --

My religious upbringing was .... eclectic to say the least.  I grew up part Episcopalian, part Atheist. My mom took us to church occasionally and my dad told me once that "God is either as dumb as a donut-hole or mean as hell". I never really knew what I believed or where I stood, it's safe to say I spent the first 32 years of my life questioning God, Jesus, Christianity, Heaven, and Hell.

In September of 2013 my whole life changed. I made the terrifying decision to end my marriage.  The day that I made that decision I had lunch with 2 very dear friends, and a 3rd happened by after I made the announcement.  We went to a private room and the three of them held hands in a circle around me and prayed for me.  They prayed for strength and clarity.  They prayed that God would be with me and help me through this horrible time. They prayed for God's plan to be revealed. They prayed and I cried. I cried huge raking, snotty, can't breath crying.

These three friends knew that I was "iffy"on the subject of Christ, but they prayed for me anyway. Their belief and strength in that moment changed my life. This was the greatest turning point of my entire life, and I will be forever indebted to them for taking those few minutes for me.

It just so happened one of these friends was going to host a small group at work starting that week. The timing could not have been more perfect ... of course I know now God's timing is always perfect. Another of those friends invited me to church. I attended with her at first, then ventured out on my own. Because of these three friends I was able to be surrounded by strong, caring, selfless, Christian women during this emotionally tortuous time.

I immersed myself in the church culture. I continued in the small group at work. I went to church every Sunday and then began attending the first Wednesday services.  In January of 2014 I participated in the 21 days of prayer and fasting. Then I joined a small group outside of work.

My journey is just beginning, I can't even fathom how much I have to learn , but I know that I am finally, for the first time in my life, headed in the right direction. I am living life, a Christian life, that wouldn't have happened if not for those three friends who joined hands around me on that day in September.